Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Dumb Dummer & Dummerer
I had an exhilarating day at work today. Everything seemed to be going my way and I felt on top of the world! The calls were flowing quickly and I was helping people at breakneck speed. I was getting complements one after another and in between calls I would reach back and pat myself on the back. Just kidding about patting myself on the back but I must admit I was feeling pretty good about myself. I was hearing things like, "you have helped me so much!" and "you make more sense then the last person I spoke to!" My head grew larger and larger to enormous proportions. I almost needed a bigger cubicle just so that my head would fit! It was getting later in my day and I got a phone call that slowed me down a little. The customer that I was speaking to had notes on his account that painted a picture of a frustrated man that had spoken to supervisors on many occasions on his account. I must admit as I answered each of his questions and offered him remedies that he had not been offered before, I did look at the time because I have been trying to comply with the average call time that my employer requires. However, I continued to explain and answer all the questions that he had. At the end of the call although some of my answers were not what he wanted to hear, he felt that his concerns had been heard and he understood the reasoning behind the processes. He gratefully thanked me and told me, "out of all the times that I have had to contact the customer service department through all of the years I have been with x company, I have never had better customer service." He then proceeded "i have never asked to speak with a supervisor at any company before to give a compliment but if you would like to transfer me to your supervisor I would like to tell them how good you are, you exceeded my expectations." Excitedly, I asked him if he had any other questions before I transferred him, thanked him for his call, and asked him to call again. As I went to transfer him to a supervisor, I disconnected the phone! All I could do was stare at the phone...I would have physically kicked myself in the rear if I could have. Now, when he looks back on his experience with me, he won't remember the stellar customer service that was provided, he'll remember that I couldn't even transfer his call correctly. Today I was dummerer.
Monday, August 27, 2007
I Used To Be a People Person
I always thought of myself as a people person. For the most part I always liked to be able to help others and thought of myself as kind hearted. As I have aged my heart has gradually gotten a little tougher around the edges. Kind of like well done steak. I have always excelled in customer service positions. I even got roses delivered to work from a client I helped. The thank you card said, "Other's said tomorrow but you made a way for today." I don't know if it is considered burnout, old age, or maturity, but now the thought that often enters my mind is, I hate stupid people! I still enjoy helping people that honestly need assistance and even appreciate your effort if it takes a little more work than usual to help them. I do however get tired of the people that call to complain about things that are usually their own fault. I get tired of people that try to get out of late charges when they are consistently late in sending in a payment, even when they have a grace period. Now, I have huge financial issues but these people have incomes that put mine to shame and the only reason they are consistently late is because they are lazy.
Having said all this, I always am made to eat my own words. I always try to be careful about judgements I make because more often than not I end up doing the exact same thing that I judge other people on. I made a call yesterday because my electric payment is due on the 30th and I get paid on the last day of the month. I asked if I could move the due date to be due on the first of every month hoping that my due date would not move around and would always be due when I can actually pay it. Well, due to necessity and not laziness I have payment arragements because the winter was difficult and I got behind. So when I called to request the due date change I was told that it was not a "preferred due date." I was responded with, "preferred to whom?" in a very sarcastic tone. You see, I was concerned that if I couldn't get it change that my whole account balance would be due and I would end up getting my service disconnected because I couldn't afford to pay it. My concern displayed itself as desperate sarcasm. When the representative replied preferred to the system, I asked how the system prefering a certain due date would be helping me at all. I informed her that this had happened before that I wasn't looking to get out of my payment that I just wouldn't have the money until 12am on the 31st and that after I made the payment on the 31st I wanted to change the due date so I wouldn't have a fluctuation in the due date and would be ontime. She stated that the first would not work for me because it hadn't worked in the past which I proceeded to argue that I had changed jobs and therefore was paid on a different schedule. Of course, I was becoming increasingly hysterical because I was stressing over whether or not my service was going to be shut off. The representative said "Listen to me!" with her voice raised, and then I went off! I screamed that I wanted to speak with her supervisor right now, and what right did she have to yell at me to listen to her! She started backtracking and explaining to me that she didn't know how the prefered billing worked but even if I moved the due date to the 1st that it would still move from month to month and that there would still be some months that would fall before a payday. I took a deep breath and apologized, explained that I work the same kind of job that she does, that I have to deal with people like me all day, and that I was sorry. She apologized for her behavior. She changed something on the account so that I could pay it on the 31st and then changed my due date. Now, I didn't apologize to get what I wanted. I honestly embarassed myself by losing control of my emotions and for treating someone like I have been treated in the past. But, I learned a lesson. Some people will call in and become angry if they think that they will be able to get what they want done by bullying you. I didn't do that but the results were the same. I got what I originally asked for, I just threw an emotional fit and then apologized. But the main moral of the story, if there is one, is that people just want to be treated like human beings. Nobody wants to be yelled at whether it's part of their job or not.
In the comments list a judgement you have made about something or somebody and how it bit you in the ass!
Having said all this, I always am made to eat my own words. I always try to be careful about judgements I make because more often than not I end up doing the exact same thing that I judge other people on. I made a call yesterday because my electric payment is due on the 30th and I get paid on the last day of the month. I asked if I could move the due date to be due on the first of every month hoping that my due date would not move around and would always be due when I can actually pay it. Well, due to necessity and not laziness I have payment arragements because the winter was difficult and I got behind. So when I called to request the due date change I was told that it was not a "preferred due date." I was responded with, "preferred to whom?" in a very sarcastic tone. You see, I was concerned that if I couldn't get it change that my whole account balance would be due and I would end up getting my service disconnected because I couldn't afford to pay it. My concern displayed itself as desperate sarcasm. When the representative replied preferred to the system, I asked how the system prefering a certain due date would be helping me at all. I informed her that this had happened before that I wasn't looking to get out of my payment that I just wouldn't have the money until 12am on the 31st and that after I made the payment on the 31st I wanted to change the due date so I wouldn't have a fluctuation in the due date and would be ontime. She stated that the first would not work for me because it hadn't worked in the past which I proceeded to argue that I had changed jobs and therefore was paid on a different schedule. Of course, I was becoming increasingly hysterical because I was stressing over whether or not my service was going to be shut off. The representative said "Listen to me!" with her voice raised, and then I went off! I screamed that I wanted to speak with her supervisor right now, and what right did she have to yell at me to listen to her! She started backtracking and explaining to me that she didn't know how the prefered billing worked but even if I moved the due date to the 1st that it would still move from month to month and that there would still be some months that would fall before a payday. I took a deep breath and apologized, explained that I work the same kind of job that she does, that I have to deal with people like me all day, and that I was sorry. She apologized for her behavior. She changed something on the account so that I could pay it on the 31st and then changed my due date. Now, I didn't apologize to get what I wanted. I honestly embarassed myself by losing control of my emotions and for treating someone like I have been treated in the past. But, I learned a lesson. Some people will call in and become angry if they think that they will be able to get what they want done by bullying you. I didn't do that but the results were the same. I got what I originally asked for, I just threw an emotional fit and then apologized. But the main moral of the story, if there is one, is that people just want to be treated like human beings. Nobody wants to be yelled at whether it's part of their job or not.
In the comments list a judgement you have made about something or somebody and how it bit you in the ass!
Monday, August 20, 2007
Dream Interpreter
This website is pretty cool. Try it out and post your results in the comments.
http://www.bored.com/freakydreams/
http://www.bored.com/freakydreams/
Survival Guide
The following are tips for any character in a horror film. If you do happen to find yourself in a horror film someday, use these tips wisely and you may make it out alive. Until the sequel that is...
Survival Tips:
When it seems that you've killed the monster, never check to see if it's really dead.
If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetery, was once a church used for black masses, had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion or who performed necrophilia or satanic practices, move away immediately.
Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.
Do not search the basement, especially when the power has just gone out.
If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they do not know, or if they speak using a voice other than their own, shoot them at once. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. Note: it's unlikely they'll die easy, so be prepared.
When you have the benefit of numbers, never pair off or go off alone.
If the gang plans a fun midnight party in the town's old abandoned mansion, don't tag along. Especially don't tag along if everyone's going as couples, except you're the odd guy/gal out. And if you're the gang's jokester, you may as well write up your last will and testament while you're driving with them to the place.
As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
Never stand in, on, above, below, beside, or anywhere near a grave, tomb, crypt, mausoleum, or other domicile of the dead.
If you're searching for something which caused a noise and find out that it's just the cat, leave the room immediately if you value your life.
If appliances start operating by themselves, move out.
Do not take (or borrow) anything from the dead.
Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you are doing.
If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or f all down at least twice, more if you are female. Also note that, although you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.
If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, get away from them as fast as possible.
Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (God help you if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine or Massachusetts.
If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help.
Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chain saws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, weed-whackers or any device made from deceased companions.
Listen closely to the soundtrack; and pay attention to the audience, since they are usually far more intelligent than you could ever hope to be.
Never, never, NEVER try to communicate with something icky because "there's so much we can learn from them".
Don't make fun of or play with dead things.
If you find a town which looks deserted, it's probably for a reason. Take the hint and stay away.
If a meteor strikes nearby, move out of town.
When something bad is chasing you, bear in mind that when you try to start your car, no matter how reliable the vehicle is normally, you'll have to crank the engine over many times before it will fire up.
If you walk into the local abandoned-looking church to seek help or shelter, and you notice that the crucifix is mounted upside down, turn around and go back outside as quietly as possible.
When you happen to be one of the fortunate ones and actually make it through the film alive, never, NEVER sign on to do a sequel. If you do, expect to depart this world in the first five minutes.
Strange lights are seldom harbingers of joy.
People arriving to rescue you generally get ambushed by the monster, so don't rely on them as your only means of escape. In fact, expect to be surprised and delayed by encountering their flayed corpse at some point.
On no account do ANYTHING because someone dares you to.
If you realize that the people in your town/county are having their minds taken over by some strange force, alien or otherwise: DO NOT call the police as they are
either already taken over themselves and will turn you in or
will not believe you and laugh at you.
Either way, you must handle the problem yourself.
If a small band of children appear to be smarter then the adults that are around them, be cautious. If they stay together in a small, secretive group, and display nothing but hostility towards their elders, authority, and the church, leave town at once. If you wish to stay, be as kind to the children as possible, but expect to die anyways because you are inferior to them.
If you assist the villian of the film, do not expect gratitude in exchange for your services. In fact, do not expect anything other than death, which will come in the final minutes of the film and usually over the girl you have become attracted to, but the villian wants as this own.
If any animals, such as Birds, Pirahna, Spiders, etc. begin to exhibit behavior that seems a bit more hostile towards mankind than normal, immediately call in the authorities, get out of that town, and do not try to talk to any scientist who specializes in that animal (ornithologists and the like) for they will not believe you.
Whatever you do, DO NOT keep pets such as cats, dogs, hamsters, or anything cuddly. If you must, do not let them out of your sight for so much as a second.
When you land on a distant planet and find some objects that look like eggs, leave them alone.
When one of your spaceship's crew finds a hideous parasite attached to his body (as a result of disobeying the previous rule), don't let him back on the ship. The guy's dogmeat anyway.
When a hideous alien menace is hunting you (as a result of disobeying the previous two rules) never wander off alone to hunt for the ship's cat.
Never, EVER go in/out there (There being the attic, closet, barn, basement, dark alley, dark anywhere else, the all-concealing shadows, the woods or the lake)
If someone who seems important tells you to do or NOT do something (like DON'T fall asleep, DON'T leave me, DON'T look for the homicidal-chainsaw-wielding- psychopath by yourself) by all means, listen to them, unless doing so would break another of the guidelines.
If you manage to lose a few body parts along the way, don't despair. Take this opportunity to replace them with weapons, such as chainsaws, harpoons, etc.
If you are using a gun to combat the all-comsuming evil, it is a good idea to quickly find a new means of defense, because no matter how much ammo you have, you'll run out just before you kill the monster.
If you are wounded by flesh-eating zombies, aboandon all hope, because sooner or later, no matter how many anti-biotics you take, yer gonna become one of 'em.
If you're the the last main character left, and a bunch of people are hunting the monster/monsters DON'T stand out in the open, because you will immediately be mistaken for a/the monster.
Don't open the closed door, especially if you hear scratching, heavy breathing, or any other strange noises from the other side.
DO NOT go into the dark room.
If you're a male, get out of there as fast as possible! The only one who ever survives is a female.
While in a horror film, never bathe, especially when in the house alone.
In terms of weaponry and general equipment for fighting the monster, never rely on any tool more complicated than a pointed stick. Generators will inexplicably run out of power, just as the nasty space-vegetable climbs onto your jury rigged electrical grid. Just when you've got the ghoul lined up in your sights, your gun will invariably jam.
If you are a female, never show your breasts, easy women are expendable.
Never camp or build homes on Indian burial grounds.
IF YOU CAN ADD ANY OTHERS TIPS ADD THEM IN A COMMENT
Survival Tips:
When it seems that you've killed the monster, never check to see if it's really dead.
If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetery, was once a church used for black masses, had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion or who performed necrophilia or satanic practices, move away immediately.
Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.
Do not search the basement, especially when the power has just gone out.
If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they do not know, or if they speak using a voice other than their own, shoot them at once. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. Note: it's unlikely they'll die easy, so be prepared.
When you have the benefit of numbers, never pair off or go off alone.
If the gang plans a fun midnight party in the town's old abandoned mansion, don't tag along. Especially don't tag along if everyone's going as couples, except you're the odd guy/gal out. And if you're the gang's jokester, you may as well write up your last will and testament while you're driving with them to the place.
As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
Never stand in, on, above, below, beside, or anywhere near a grave, tomb, crypt, mausoleum, or other domicile of the dead.
If you're searching for something which caused a noise and find out that it's just the cat, leave the room immediately if you value your life.
If appliances start operating by themselves, move out.
Do not take (or borrow) anything from the dead.
Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you are doing.
If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or f all down at least twice, more if you are female. Also note that, although you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.
If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, get away from them as fast as possible.
Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (God help you if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine or Massachusetts.
If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help.
Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chain saws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, weed-whackers or any device made from deceased companions.
Listen closely to the soundtrack; and pay attention to the audience, since they are usually far more intelligent than you could ever hope to be.
Never, never, NEVER try to communicate with something icky because "there's so much we can learn from them".
Don't make fun of or play with dead things.
If you find a town which looks deserted, it's probably for a reason. Take the hint and stay away.
If a meteor strikes nearby, move out of town.
When something bad is chasing you, bear in mind that when you try to start your car, no matter how reliable the vehicle is normally, you'll have to crank the engine over many times before it will fire up.
If you walk into the local abandoned-looking church to seek help or shelter, and you notice that the crucifix is mounted upside down, turn around and go back outside as quietly as possible.
When you happen to be one of the fortunate ones and actually make it through the film alive, never, NEVER sign on to do a sequel. If you do, expect to depart this world in the first five minutes.
Strange lights are seldom harbingers of joy.
People arriving to rescue you generally get ambushed by the monster, so don't rely on them as your only means of escape. In fact, expect to be surprised and delayed by encountering their flayed corpse at some point.
On no account do ANYTHING because someone dares you to.
If you realize that the people in your town/county are having their minds taken over by some strange force, alien or otherwise: DO NOT call the police as they are
either already taken over themselves and will turn you in or
will not believe you and laugh at you.
Either way, you must handle the problem yourself.
If a small band of children appear to be smarter then the adults that are around them, be cautious. If they stay together in a small, secretive group, and display nothing but hostility towards their elders, authority, and the church, leave town at once. If you wish to stay, be as kind to the children as possible, but expect to die anyways because you are inferior to them.
If you assist the villian of the film, do not expect gratitude in exchange for your services. In fact, do not expect anything other than death, which will come in the final minutes of the film and usually over the girl you have become attracted to, but the villian wants as this own.
If any animals, such as Birds, Pirahna, Spiders, etc. begin to exhibit behavior that seems a bit more hostile towards mankind than normal, immediately call in the authorities, get out of that town, and do not try to talk to any scientist who specializes in that animal (ornithologists and the like) for they will not believe you.
Whatever you do, DO NOT keep pets such as cats, dogs, hamsters, or anything cuddly. If you must, do not let them out of your sight for so much as a second.
When you land on a distant planet and find some objects that look like eggs, leave them alone.
When one of your spaceship's crew finds a hideous parasite attached to his body (as a result of disobeying the previous rule), don't let him back on the ship. The guy's dogmeat anyway.
When a hideous alien menace is hunting you (as a result of disobeying the previous two rules) never wander off alone to hunt for the ship's cat.
Never, EVER go in/out there (There being the attic, closet, barn, basement, dark alley, dark anywhere else, the all-concealing shadows, the woods or the lake)
If someone who seems important tells you to do or NOT do something (like DON'T fall asleep, DON'T leave me, DON'T look for the homicidal-chainsaw-wielding- psychopath by yourself) by all means, listen to them, unless doing so would break another of the guidelines.
If you manage to lose a few body parts along the way, don't despair. Take this opportunity to replace them with weapons, such as chainsaws, harpoons, etc.
If you are using a gun to combat the all-comsuming evil, it is a good idea to quickly find a new means of defense, because no matter how much ammo you have, you'll run out just before you kill the monster.
If you are wounded by flesh-eating zombies, aboandon all hope, because sooner or later, no matter how many anti-biotics you take, yer gonna become one of 'em.
If you're the the last main character left, and a bunch of people are hunting the monster/monsters DON'T stand out in the open, because you will immediately be mistaken for a/the monster.
Don't open the closed door, especially if you hear scratching, heavy breathing, or any other strange noises from the other side.
DO NOT go into the dark room.
If you're a male, get out of there as fast as possible! The only one who ever survives is a female.
While in a horror film, never bathe, especially when in the house alone.
In terms of weaponry and general equipment for fighting the monster, never rely on any tool more complicated than a pointed stick. Generators will inexplicably run out of power, just as the nasty space-vegetable climbs onto your jury rigged electrical grid. Just when you've got the ghoul lined up in your sights, your gun will invariably jam.
If you are a female, never show your breasts, easy women are expendable.
Never camp or build homes on Indian burial grounds.
IF YOU CAN ADD ANY OTHERS TIPS ADD THEM IN A COMMENT
Top Ten Reasons Why Trick or Treating is Better than Sex
10. Guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
9. If you get tired, wait ten minutes then go at it again.
8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
7. You don't have to compliment the person who gave you the candy.
6. Person you're with doesn't fantasize you're someone else.
5. 40 years from now you'll still enjoy candy.
4. If you wear a Bill Clinton mask, no one thinks you're kinky.
3. Doesn't matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.
2. Less guilt the next morning.
And the number one reason why Trick or Treating is Better than Sex is:
1. If you don't get what you want, you can always go next door!!!
9. If you get tired, wait ten minutes then go at it again.
8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
7. You don't have to compliment the person who gave you the candy.
6. Person you're with doesn't fantasize you're someone else.
5. 40 years from now you'll still enjoy candy.
4. If you wear a Bill Clinton mask, no one thinks you're kinky.
3. Doesn't matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.
2. Less guilt the next morning.
And the number one reason why Trick or Treating is Better than Sex is:
1. If you don't get what you want, you can always go next door!!!
Sunday, August 19, 2007
The Beginning of the End
Have you ever gotten in a arguement with a boyfriend or husband and it felt like the beginning of the end? I think this is especially true if you have been through a breakup or divorce before. Sometimes it seems when I am angry I say things intentionally hurtful. I feel if I have been hurt so with a vengence I go for the jugular. I hate that I do that. There are some things you say that you can't take back and will always be between the two of you. They'll always pop up in your mind when things get rough and you can't erase them. Lyle and I got in an arguement tonight. It was really stupid but none the less it seemed important at the time. He doesn't do a lot around the house but that is the way he has always been. It's the way he was before I met him and is the way he is now. I shouldn't expect him to change because that is who he is but it pisses me off sometimes. I get tired of not having help and when I start doing chores and he is just sitting on his computer or watching television I get very angry and start bitching at him. Tonight, I did the same thing but then I had to throw in how he never does anything around the house. And how even though he is not working due to an injury that all he does is sit at home all day and that he couldn't even put spark plugs in our car that I had to get another guy to do it. The getting someone else to put the spark plugs in the car is a sore subject for him so that's why I knowingly threw it in. He got angry and threw the broom he was holding. I had already turned to leave the room and it bounced and hit me in the lower back. I assumed he threw it at my back because he knows I have problems with it and I became irate and furious. One thing I have never put up with and never will is someone putting their hands on me. I flew off the handle and told him that he needed to pack his shit and get out right now. I went back to the laundry room put in a load of laundry bawling and getting angrier as I thought about. Angry because I feel like I always back down in a fight and more angry because I felt like he aimed for my back. I stomped into the front room and told him that he needs to make arrangements for a place to go because I wanted him out. Now, honestly I didn't want him to go. I don't want him to go because I love him with all of my heart and because I have been through all of this before and I don't want to mess up the kids. He said that he wasn't leaving that I needed to go somewhere so of course I had to throw in that I was the one paying the rent right now so he needed to go. I said this because he is not working due to a torn ligament and muscle that he needs physical therapy for. Of course I knew I was wrong when I made that dig but I did anyways and then I proceeded to pick up the phone to dial 911. Why did I do that? For the life of me I don't know. I hung up before I even hit the final 1. But, the damage had been done. Something I can't ever take back. When he threw the broom I had my back turned so I didn't see it when it bounced off of the floor and hit me in the lower back. He said fine that he was leaving and that he was taking one of our youngest with him. Then I got evil and said that since his name wasn't on the birth certificate he wasn't taking him anywhere. By this time I had decided that I didn't want him to leave that this was the stupidest fight we had ever been in and that it wasn't worth breaking us up over. I mean Lyle doesn't drink, he doesn't do drugs, he doesn't lie, cheat, steal my money, or abuse our children. He doesn't do any of the terrible things my ex husband did and it is stupid to split up over who does the chores. He had already started getting ready to leave and since I didn't want him to go and I certaintly didn't want him to take any of the children I told him that if he walked out the door I would make sure that he would never see them again. Smart! I think my brains disappear when I get in an arguement. He has asked me to leave when we have gotten in arguements but he has never threatened to keep me from my children. I was wrong. He says that everything is fine, that we are okay, and that there is nothing to worry about. But I know differently. There are things I said and did that I can never take back, that will always stay between us. He is a wonderful father and even if we don't make it I would never keep him from his children. But now he will always have that in the back of his mind and he'll always wonder. Although, I think that splitting up over chores is dumb, I made things worse. I do get frustrated with some of the things that he does or doesn't do but he isn't perfect. Obviously, neither am I but I hurt because I know that I dug too deep and that I hurt him. I was wrong. It feels like the beginning of the end. I hope it's not.
Tickle Tests
So I don't blog as often as I should. Instead I internalize alot of my feelings. I fight against myself sometimes. I am a very feeling person who likes to keep things to herself. I also like to be a part of a whole but independent and free at the same time. In other words, I like to have my cake and eat it to, then wash it down with some milk! Well, since my sister in law Dawn listed her test results on her blog http://thediaryofanangrywhitewomaninamerica.blogspot.com/ I thought I would follow suit.
TEST
ARE YOU A SEX GODDESS?
A brilliant bolt of lightning descends! SHAZAAM! The oracle has spoken!
The smoke clears to reveal that inside you is a divine being,
PERSEPHONE, Goddess of the Night,
a woman in touch with her deepest inner desires.
As the most sexual of all the female deities, you are very comfortable in the bedroom. Your skill at pleasing a man is unmatched, and you know exactly what you need for your own pleasure. As a woman of passion, you're very comfortable with expressing your desires to anyone. You are a proud and confident woman who exudes sensuality. You cherish the intimacy of physical attraction and know what it takes to win a man. As a woman deeply in touch with your sexuality, you definitely know how to thoroughly enjoy yourself! Your polished bedroom performance always keeps them coming back for more. When everything is going right, a light shines down from the heavens. Behold, the skies proclaim, here lies a goddess!
THE PASSION PREDICTOR
When you're in love, the whole world knows it. The excitement of romance shines from your eyes. After all, love is grand. And so is intimacy, whispering sweet nothings, the occasional PDA, and the joy of being cuddled up and cozy with your partner...Yikes. Is that a sugar headache coming on?
Nah — we're just jealous. Fact is, you've got a leg up on most folks when it comes to welcoming romance and nurturing its growth. Recognizing your gift for knowing what you need to stay happy in love will guide you through uncertain times. What more could anyone ask for?
Here's the catch: You might want to check in with yourself from time to time to make sure you're not avoiding real intimacy or hiding behind romantic games. We know, we know. It's more fun to just play. But keep in mind that true love is worth the work!
THE CLASSIC IQ TEST
Your IQ score is 127
This number is based on a scientific formula that compares how many questions you answered correctly on the Classic IQ Test relative to others.
Your Intellectual Type is Insightful Linguist. This means you are highly intelligent and have the natural fluency of a writer and the visual and spatial strengths of an artist. Those skills contribute to your creative and expressive mind. And that's just some of what we know about you from your test results.
WHAT ZODIAC SHOULD YOU BE?
The planets are very complex. Maybe your astrologer will disagree, and maybe a few tendencies will vary, but overall you're a SCORPIO. You're just like a water sign, which comes out in the way you're so in tune with your emotions and your intuitions. Your symbol is a scorpion, which represents your secretive nature and your ability to emit a powerful poison when vengeful. A bundle of contradictions, you have the ability to demonstrate both the best and worst qualities that characterize human nature. Generally, you are intense and passionate, yet stubborn and competitive. You use your intuition fearlessly, and you have a tendency to explore the nature of existence through the study of philosophy and religion. Although it is difficult for you to trust others, whenever you finally do, the result is deep and powerful. On the downside, however, you must work hard to suppress your jealousy. Your dedication, drive, and persistence will guarantee you success, and you are known and respected for your imagination and idealism.
WHAT TURNS YOU ON?
Leticia, a Big Brain turns you on A new independent film? CNN? The Economist? Sexy, huh? Chances are, with your smarts, and love of a challenge, something along these lines probably gets you going. Whatever your passion, you're looking for that same love of learning and curiosity about the world from your romantic partner.
For you, the hottest thing around can be dressed as a math whiz, a tech geek, or a college professor, just as long as they have the brain power — and, um, stamina — to go the distance with you. Mental connections and sparring matches give you the challenges you need to get turned on. Love poems, pumped-up abs, moonlit walks on the beach — take 'em or leave 'em, you've got your eyes on the IQ prize. After all, the sexiest thing going are smarts.
Well, I'll leave the rest for another time. Now people will know more about me than I care for them to know but I'm probably the only one who reads my blog anyways.
TEST
ARE YOU A SEX GODDESS?
A brilliant bolt of lightning descends! SHAZAAM! The oracle has spoken!
The smoke clears to reveal that inside you is a divine being,
PERSEPHONE, Goddess of the Night,
a woman in touch with her deepest inner desires.
As the most sexual of all the female deities, you are very comfortable in the bedroom. Your skill at pleasing a man is unmatched, and you know exactly what you need for your own pleasure. As a woman of passion, you're very comfortable with expressing your desires to anyone. You are a proud and confident woman who exudes sensuality. You cherish the intimacy of physical attraction and know what it takes to win a man. As a woman deeply in touch with your sexuality, you definitely know how to thoroughly enjoy yourself! Your polished bedroom performance always keeps them coming back for more. When everything is going right, a light shines down from the heavens. Behold, the skies proclaim, here lies a goddess!
THE PASSION PREDICTOR
When you're in love, the whole world knows it. The excitement of romance shines from your eyes. After all, love is grand. And so is intimacy, whispering sweet nothings, the occasional PDA, and the joy of being cuddled up and cozy with your partner...Yikes. Is that a sugar headache coming on?
Nah — we're just jealous. Fact is, you've got a leg up on most folks when it comes to welcoming romance and nurturing its growth. Recognizing your gift for knowing what you need to stay happy in love will guide you through uncertain times. What more could anyone ask for?
Here's the catch: You might want to check in with yourself from time to time to make sure you're not avoiding real intimacy or hiding behind romantic games. We know, we know. It's more fun to just play. But keep in mind that true love is worth the work!
THE CLASSIC IQ TEST
Your IQ score is 127
This number is based on a scientific formula that compares how many questions you answered correctly on the Classic IQ Test relative to others.
Your Intellectual Type is Insightful Linguist. This means you are highly intelligent and have the natural fluency of a writer and the visual and spatial strengths of an artist. Those skills contribute to your creative and expressive mind. And that's just some of what we know about you from your test results.
WHAT ZODIAC SHOULD YOU BE?
The planets are very complex. Maybe your astrologer will disagree, and maybe a few tendencies will vary, but overall you're a SCORPIO. You're just like a water sign, which comes out in the way you're so in tune with your emotions and your intuitions. Your symbol is a scorpion, which represents your secretive nature and your ability to emit a powerful poison when vengeful. A bundle of contradictions, you have the ability to demonstrate both the best and worst qualities that characterize human nature. Generally, you are intense and passionate, yet stubborn and competitive. You use your intuition fearlessly, and you have a tendency to explore the nature of existence through the study of philosophy and religion. Although it is difficult for you to trust others, whenever you finally do, the result is deep and powerful. On the downside, however, you must work hard to suppress your jealousy. Your dedication, drive, and persistence will guarantee you success, and you are known and respected for your imagination and idealism.
WHAT TURNS YOU ON?
Leticia, a Big Brain turns you on A new independent film? CNN? The Economist? Sexy, huh? Chances are, with your smarts, and love of a challenge, something along these lines probably gets you going. Whatever your passion, you're looking for that same love of learning and curiosity about the world from your romantic partner.
For you, the hottest thing around can be dressed as a math whiz, a tech geek, or a college professor, just as long as they have the brain power — and, um, stamina — to go the distance with you. Mental connections and sparring matches give you the challenges you need to get turned on. Love poems, pumped-up abs, moonlit walks on the beach — take 'em or leave 'em, you've got your eyes on the IQ prize. After all, the sexiest thing going are smarts.
Well, I'll leave the rest for another time. Now people will know more about me than I care for them to know but I'm probably the only one who reads my blog anyways.
Monday, August 13, 2007
Why I Hate My EX
When I first left my husband, I left because I was fed up with him and all the bullshit. I didn't hate him. I just didn't love him anymore and was tired of cleaning up all his messes. I will admit that it takes two to make a relationship work but if one is doing the work of two then that doesn't work either. I made a lot of mistakes while I was married, he wouldn't stand up and be a man so I became controlling in the relationship. I wanted a husband, a man, and equal, I didn't want to become a mother to a grown man. I didn't want to work two jobs because he couldn't keep one. I didn't want to have to hide money so that bills could be paid. I didn't want my kids to be neglected because he was too lazy to change their diapers when he was watching him. I didn't want my oldest to miss school because my ex decided to keep him home because he needed help watching the younger children. I didn't want to go back to work to keep a roof over our heads when my second child was only a week and half old. I didn't want to think I was crazy because he lied so well that I questioned my sanity. But I had to do all that and more because he wouldn't be an adult, a father, or a man. Despite everything I honestly thought that he loved his children. They weren't unplanned, he wanted them all. Sometimes, I wonder if he felt like he had more control if he kept me pregnant. He played with them but after all he was more their peer than there father. After I left besides having to obtain a restraining order to restraining him from me, I thought that with all his shortcommings he was still a father that loved his children and that was important. Then he kidnapped the kids and when I located them a month later my youngest was in the hospital with double pneumonia. The hospital informed me that if they had waited any longer to bring him in he would have died. He was two years old. Apparently, when he decided to take them he left them with a so called family member that I didn't even know existed. She had six children of her own and with my children had no way to get my youngest to the hospital. She had tried contacting my ex but he would leave for days at a time and would never return her messages. She finally got desperate and got her mother-in-law to bring my child to the hospital. That is the moment that I started to hate him. Hurt me but don't hurt my children! Then when Lyle, (my man) and I got together he proceeded to inform Lyle that since he knew I had children before he started seeing me, the children were no longer his responsibility but now Lyle's. Tell me what kind of father does this? He was excited when the pregnancy tests turned positive. He went to every prenatal appointment. He went to every ultrasound. He felt them kick in the womb against his back at night. He shed tears when they each were born. He cut each of their umbilical cords. He ran to JC Penny's the day that our daughter was born and bought her a frilly pink dress, headband, and matching socks. I walked in to the hospital room and watched him rock our daughter singing, "You are my sunshine". And despite all this he hasn't talked to or seen his children for five and half years, by his own choice. He decided that since he didn't have me, he didn't want our children. Lyle is more a father than he ever was even though biologically they don't belong to him. But they still know that they have a dad that doesn't care. This is the reason why I fucking hate him!
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Old Friends and Memories
I love myspace. Sometimes, I hate the freaks and wierdos that are on there and the people that send you spam but myspace is great! I personally lived in a lot of places growing up and myspace has allowed me to find old friends, which is really important to me. My memories are my most treasured possession, something that only time and age can take away.
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
Some Have It Worse, I Think...
I know that there are people that are in worse situations than I am. I have been in worse situations than I am now. But most people no matter how caring they consider themselves to be, are more concerned with their present reality and problems. I know that I am blessed to have even one child much less the seven I have. I have had close friends that did everything the right way and still struggled to have a child. I know that these children bring light to my darkness and smiles and laughter to my pain. But it is also these children that make my lack hurt so much, because I don't want more for myself, I want it for them. I work in customer service, why they ever refer to it as customer service escapes my mind because usually it is nothing of the sort. My problem is that I actually want to help and giving a quick answer that isn't even correct is not my style. Today, I received a call from a woman that proceeded to tell me she and her mother have cancer and they are currently going through chemotherapy. She had gotten behind on a payment because she had been so sick with the side effects of the chemotherapy and also busy trying to take care of herself, her mother, her children and her grandchildren. Her daughter was currently serving time due to a drug charge and her grandchildren lived with her. There were nine children in the house, her refrigerator had broken and social services was coming by, she didn't have money for school supplies, did I know where she could get some? It was her birthday and her son's birthday and all she wanted for her birthday was to be able to give her son what he wanted for his birthday. What did he want for his birthday you ask? He just wanted a dvd movie, she couldn't afford it. I hope that all of this was just an attempt to explain why her payment was late. I hope for all of my sanity that none of it was true and that she was lying through her teeth. But I know that there are probably people who have no luck at all and could be going through similar situations. And I thought I had the market cornered on bad luck! Count your blessings, no matter how few.
Monday, August 6, 2007
So Depressing!
I was reading through my blogs and I think if I were somebody else reading them, I would then proceed to kill myself. I am depressing. I have been told that I am pestimistic but this is ridiculous! Maybe I should start taking medication. I have decided that here on out I will try, while gritting my teeth tightly, to be positive. However, just this one last time I will end with my saying about depression.
DEPRESSION
BY
LH
Depression stood in the corner of the room with it's deformed hand twisting and mangling reality.
DEPRESSION
BY
LH
Depression stood in the corner of the room with it's deformed hand twisting and mangling reality.
My Struggle
By,
LH
Of all the sorrow, the infernal hells,
The past is where my mind dwells,
I only know how to dwell in sorrow,
Never looking towards a tomorrow,
All hope is gone so far away,
I don't know if I can stand another day,
But I'll live until I die,
And maybe then I'll know just why...
LH
Of all the sorrow, the infernal hells,
The past is where my mind dwells,
I only know how to dwell in sorrow,
Never looking towards a tomorrow,
All hope is gone so far away,
I don't know if I can stand another day,
But I'll live until I die,
And maybe then I'll know just why...
Frustrated Beyond Belief
It's seems like everytime I start to get ahead something knocks me on my ass! I am so tired of the struggle. I wish I was content to stay in the situation I am and not try to make things better because then I wouldn't be miserable. My man is (when I refer to my man, I mean the man I would love to marry but probably never will) eight years older than I am. He has had asthma all his life and he has had severe hypo-thyroidism for the last five years. His work is labor intensive and his body just doesn't take it as well as it used to. He is going to be off of work for a least a month due to an injury and probably is going to need to find another job. This comes at a shitty time because I just got back to work after being unemployed for nine months and we haven't even begun to catch up! My ex-husband doesn't pay child support for his children even though he is ordered to. Everytime they find him and his employment he disappears. My man on the other hand pays out over six hundred dollars a month for his kids, one of which lives with us. I have the potential to do so much more but it seems like life is holding me back. If I wasn't ambitious it wouldn't matter but I feel so hopeless sometimes. This morning I was practically in tears because the car wouldn't start. I had to screw with it for about 45 min before I was able to leave for work. All I ask is for a chance, I don't want someone to do it for me. I don't want someone to fix everything for me. I want to work for what I want but I need a foot up to start the climb and I can't ever seem to find it.
Sunday, August 5, 2007
Get to know me
| Advanced Global Personality Test Results
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personality tests by similarminds.com
Eyes Wide Open
How naive I was when I got married at eighteen! I thought I knew all there was to know. I didn't have a picture perfect life growing up. My family was screwed up, my step-father beat me, my mother became a drug addict, and I had my first kid at fifteen. Even after all of that I believed that I could have a better life. I thought that I could have my own family and no one could take it from me! But those were all the wrong reasons for getting married. I didn't really love my husband like I thought I did and time after time, lie after lie, I loved him even less. He couldn't, wouldn't, keep a job and he lied so well he could make you question your own sanity. I still believe in love but I look at things with my eyes wide open instead of wide shut.
Mother's
This is just a poem I wrote while I was on unemployment! lol It's hard not get down when there is not enough money around.
A MOTHER'S PRAYER
By,
LMH
As I sit in dirt and squalor,
I get so angry I want to holler,
I feel like I am all to blame,
For my life, a mess, a shame,
I try so hard to do more,
But for all my work I still am poor,
I love my kids, but I can't give them much,
A kiss, some love, a motherly touch,
But these things don't put food in their belly,
Or buy new shoes when their shoes get old and smelly,
Or keep a roof over their head,
Or warm blankets on their bed,
I cry and I hurt and I want so much more,
But when I try someone slams shut the door,
Oh Dear God please hear my cry,
Please see me work and see me try,
I need some help somewhere some way,
I want to believe there will be a new day,
When one step forward doesn't mean two steps back,
When my home doesn't feel like a dingy shack,
My children have love and that means so much,
But there are needs that my love just can't touch,
Please help me Dear Lord and hear my cry,
As I struggle each day and work and try.
A MOTHER'S PRAYER
By,
LMH
As I sit in dirt and squalor,
I get so angry I want to holler,
I feel like I am all to blame,
For my life, a mess, a shame,
I try so hard to do more,
But for all my work I still am poor,
I love my kids, but I can't give them much,
A kiss, some love, a motherly touch,
But these things don't put food in their belly,
Or buy new shoes when their shoes get old and smelly,
Or keep a roof over their head,
Or warm blankets on their bed,
I cry and I hurt and I want so much more,
But when I try someone slams shut the door,
Oh Dear God please hear my cry,
Please see me work and see me try,
I need some help somewhere some way,
I want to believe there will be a new day,
When one step forward doesn't mean two steps back,
When my home doesn't feel like a dingy shack,
My children have love and that means so much,
But there are needs that my love just can't touch,
Please help me Dear Lord and hear my cry,
As I struggle each day and work and try.
Unwanted Children
UNWANTED CHILD
BY
LMH
Used up and discarded no one wanted me,
What was wrong, what did I do, what could it be?
Were the choices you made my fault, am I to blame?
These choices were made before you ever knew my name,
You THOUGHT you wanted me so I would give YOU love?
But when I required something from, you gave me a shove,
Now he didn't want me right from the start,
But no restraint was used, the indiscretion has wounded my heart,
The only love you had to give was used up before I was born,
Then when I needed you, you where gone and I was torn,
I survived and I grew thinking the only one I could depend on was me,
Maybe building that wall and becoming hardened was the key,
Parents should draw into their deepest being to search and reach,
Their talents, potential, their God given gift,
To guide, direct, promote, and lift,
To their fullest potential and success,
Not to start their life a mess.
BY
LMH
Used up and discarded no one wanted me,
What was wrong, what did I do, what could it be?
Were the choices you made my fault, am I to blame?
These choices were made before you ever knew my name,
You THOUGHT you wanted me so I would give YOU love?
But when I required something from, you gave me a shove,
Now he didn't want me right from the start,
But no restraint was used, the indiscretion has wounded my heart,
The only love you had to give was used up before I was born,
Then when I needed you, you where gone and I was torn,
I survived and I grew thinking the only one I could depend on was me,
Maybe building that wall and becoming hardened was the key,
Parents should draw into their deepest being to search and reach,
Their talents, potential, their God given gift,
To guide, direct, promote, and lift,
To their fullest potential and success,
Not to start their life a mess.
ALIENS
Just something my oldest and I wrote to the tune of "Ten Little Monkeys"
TWO LITTLE ALIEN'S
By,
DH
Two little aliens probing my head,
One was grey and one was red,
They left an implant in my skull,
Now my senses are all but dull,
I hope they won't come tonight,
Because they gave me such a fright!
Two little aliens around my bed,
One was grey and one was red,
They called the mother ship today,
I hope I can hold the rest at bay,
No such luck, another probe,
And a bigger implant in my frontal lobe.
TWO LITTLE ALIEN'S
By,
DH
Two little aliens probing my head,
One was grey and one was red,
They left an implant in my skull,
Now my senses are all but dull,
I hope they won't come tonight,
Because they gave me such a fright!
Two little aliens around my bed,
One was grey and one was red,
They called the mother ship today,
I hope I can hold the rest at bay,
No such luck, another probe,
And a bigger implant in my frontal lobe.
Who Am I Now?
I start this by asking who am I now? Who I used to be and who I will become is completely different than who I am at the moment. No, I do not suffer from Multiple Personality Disorder, although with the mood swings I used to have you could have fooled me. The reason I say this is that as you know, personality evolves through life dependent on life's experiences and choices or codes they decide to life by.
Right now I am a mother. My life revolves around seven children who live in my home. Six of them are independent little people who came from my womb and one is my man's daughter. Why have six children? Believe it or not I am not a member of some bizarre cult that doesn't allow birth control or one that believes you have to keep having children to get into heaven. No, not at all. I used to say I wouldn't have any children. And yes, I do know what causes this. I had my oldest at the age of fifteen a month before my sixteenth birthday. Too young to be having a child but as time goes on you'll find out what led to that. My next three children were born during my first marriage. We tried for my second child so that my husband and I could have a child together, my third child I was on birth control pills. My fourth child, I was an idiot, because even though I knew better I figured that since I didn't get my period while breast feeding, I wouldn't get pregnant. My last two are here because after I left my husband, I met a wonderful man and we decided to have children together.
I can hear you now...Are you going to keep being a baby making machine? NO! This fertile myrtle has been decomissioned. My body thanks me for making this choice. So, right now I am a mother with all that entails. I do work outside of the home but my first job is my children.
Right now I am a mother. My life revolves around seven children who live in my home. Six of them are independent little people who came from my womb and one is my man's daughter. Why have six children? Believe it or not I am not a member of some bizarre cult that doesn't allow birth control or one that believes you have to keep having children to get into heaven. No, not at all. I used to say I wouldn't have any children. And yes, I do know what causes this. I had my oldest at the age of fifteen a month before my sixteenth birthday. Too young to be having a child but as time goes on you'll find out what led to that. My next three children were born during my first marriage. We tried for my second child so that my husband and I could have a child together, my third child I was on birth control pills. My fourth child, I was an idiot, because even though I knew better I figured that since I didn't get my period while breast feeding, I wouldn't get pregnant. My last two are here because after I left my husband, I met a wonderful man and we decided to have children together.
I can hear you now...Are you going to keep being a baby making machine? NO! This fertile myrtle has been decomissioned. My body thanks me for making this choice. So, right now I am a mother with all that entails. I do work outside of the home but my first job is my children.
Nice Location
I'm not sure how all this works but after I completed my first blog I clicked on next blog. Needless to say I ended up on a page that listed free links to free porn and I had an ass right in my face. I'm no longer the prude that I used to be so it didn't offend me but the first thought that entered my head was, "figures!" And back to the prude comment, I used to think I was very reserved and very shy about sex but I think that is either just something that comes with youth or I really am the "closet freak" that some have called me. I talked to my sis the other day and told her that the older I get the more perverted I am, then I asked her if it gets any worse. Of course she wasn't happy with the insinuation that she was old and perverted but it was a fun jab to slide into the conversation!
I've Been Doing It All My Life...
Blogging is supposedly something new? I don't think so. I've been doing it all of my life. The only difference was that I called it ranting and it was done strictly in an internal dialogue in my head or on the blank pages of my diary. I think blogging is a very healthy thing to do. It allows you to clear your head, find answers to your own problems, and give others something to think about. Sometimes I enjoy reading other people's blogs because it reminds me that although I often think my life is shit, there is always someone else that has it worse than I do. Of course when I am being pestimistic it does just the opposite as well. Well, that's it for my first post. I'm sure I'll think of something soon.
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